Bringing truth to the people of Kent
I will not be filling in a census form, instead I will be serving a notice upon Jil Matheson CEO of the ONS and only complete the census form upon receipt of satisfactory answers...
I will also be creating my own census form to give to any census workers who come to my door and I will tell them that I will complete their form when they complete mine... and I want to know things like "What colour are your stools?" and "How many times do you masturbate in an average week?" ... I may even send one to Ms. Matheson :D
Here's the Notice, feel free to use, replace the red and add your own questions to taste :D
GIVEN NAME: of the FAMILY NAME Family
Ms. Jil Mateson, C.E.O.
Office for National Statistics
Notice of Conditional Acceptance and Request for Clarification
Dear Ms. Matheson,
I write in response to the Census form received on RECEIVED DATE.
I must admit to being a little confused, it was my understanding that the census was instigated as a simple numerical count of the population; however, the information required in this census form far exceeds this mandate.
- I am happy to complete this census form subject to receipt of clarification of the following points.
- What law requires me to complete the census?
- From where does the Office for National Statistics derive the lawful authority to demand private information?
- Is there a limit to invasion of privacy?
- Is the Office for National Statistics lawfully authorised to demand Private property?
- How can we be penalised for failure to provide information
- Are there any circumstances whereby security agencies may access census information?
- Since census data be requested by law enforcement, can I not answer so as to not to incriminate myself?
- Since every government database has been hacked, leaked, lost or compromised in some fashion, how can the Office for National Statistics claim data security with any confidence?
- Is the Office for National Statistics responsible for mishandled data?
- What evidence do you have that I am a United Kingdom Resident?
- Can you confirm or deny that the census data will be handled by an American Arms Manufacturer Lockheed Martin?
- Can you confirm or deny that all U.S. companies are subject to the Patriot Act which allows the U.S. Government full access to any data in that company’s possession?
- Can you confirm or deny that the Statistics and Registration Service Act 2007 section 39 subsection 4 would allow disclosure of personal information to any and/or all of the following:
- The 56 geographical and 8 non-geographical UK Police Forces.
- The three UK Intelligence Agencies (MI5, MI6 and GCHQ).
- The Department for Work and Pensions.
- Private investigators working for the Department for Work and Pensions to hunt down “benefits cheats”.
- Her Majesty’s Revenue and Customs tax investigators.
- “Approved” Insurance Industry “anti-fraud” investigators / private investigators.
- The Home Office Borders and Immigration Agency.
- The Serious Organised Crime Agency (either for domestic investigations into Serious Crimes, or for these and also for minor investigations if requested by a Foreign Law Enforcement agency under Mutual Legal Assistance treaties.
- Lawyers in civil Court Cases e.g. for Divorce or Libel or Copyright Infringement etc.
- Local Authority Trading Standards departments.
- Local Authority Environmental Health departments.
Please provide your response in the form of a Statement of Truth, sworn under penalty of perjury and upon your full commercial liability within seven (7) days of receipt of this notice, I respectfully return your census form until such time as these conditions are met.
If I do not receive such a response conforming to the above criteria within, it will be deemed a tacit agreement by your acquiescence that this census is unlawful and that I have no obligation to participate.
Sincerely without malice, ill will, vexation or frivolity,
By: GIVEN NAME: of the FAMILY NAME Family
All Rights Reserved - Without Prejudice - Without Recourse - Non-Assumpsit
Errors & Omissions Excepted
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